11/30/05

It’s the last day of November. The First Sunday of Advent is but four days away. My estrangement from the Church has been so complete as to surprise even me. That which was so integral to the first half-century of my life is now void and null. I sometimes wonder if those who betrayed me ever sense remorse. I’m sure that the truth of the matter is that I am not even a part of their consciousness anymore.

I despise what the fundamentalists (code word “evangelicals”) have managed to do to the faith. Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, and so many, many more command throngs of faithful followers while the voices of reason and sanity grow ever quieter for lack of anyone to listen. Does a tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it make a sound?

Nonetheless, I shall watch and wait for the birth of the Christ once again. “Stronger than the dark, the light; stronger than the wrong, the right!” Perhaps it is darker now even than it was that first Christmas, only because there are so many more of us who are ignorant of the Truth that time and time again seeks to enlighten humankind. God grant that I may see the light and follow it.

11/14/05

Orion shone brightly in the early morning sky today as I walked back from the fitness center after my morning exercise.

Rachel called last week just to see how I was doing in my temporary role of bachelor while Mary was in Lincoln visiting her mother. It felt good, and I wondered if, in the same way, it makes God feel good when we make “the call” just to make sure everything is okay. I don’t mean to diminish the transcendent nature of God by anthropomorphizing, but isn’t the Christ all about the human-divine relationship?

11/05/05

Discipline is such an elusive thing. Even when the outer appearance is of structure and planning, the inner can be weak and unmanageable. My most recent endeavor to journal daily serves as a good example. A three short days running and the plan fell apart on the fourth. While it is true that the critical life functions continue to be maintained, too many of the important “options” fall victim to this sort of chronic shortcoming.

Steve's idea

You are a Believer

You believe in God and your chosen religion. Whether you're Christian, Muslim, Jewish, or Hindu.. Your convictions are strong and unwavering. You think your religion is the one true way, for everyone.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

Rachel's idea

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

11/03/05

Nothing is so certain as change. This is my final day in my present position before being moved as part of a radical reorganization that has been masterminded by incompetent fools (imagine the Bush Administration on a smaller scale). With the new plan set to be in place next Monday, only now are the planners beginning to realize the myriad of details they failed to take into account.

The time at my current post is dwindling. Mom and Kim are arriving from Billings for a weekend visit, and that has given me the excuse to leave a couple of hours early. Saying goodbye is never easy, even when it is to something as abstract as the known and comfortable. There will be a new beginning, and I guess that is what is supposed to make the ending a hopeful one.

11/02/05

Let me begin this day with a spirit of gratitude. I am loved. I am sheltered. I am fed. How many of my brothers and sisters cannot say the same? I am truly blessed; and truly cursed if I fail to realize or appreciate it.

I just got off the phone with a custodial parent that is very upset with the way the “justice” system isn’t. It occurred to me that our persistent attempts to legalize morality are immoral.

I suppose that I should be delighting in what is happening to the Bush White House right now, but I do not. I’m feeling an even deeper melancholy than before over the implications of what this means about the American character. How many people support Bush’s arrogant folly simply because he claims to have been “born again”?

11/01/05

I make this attempt to once again do some serious journaling on All Saints Day. The curious popularity of Halloween in this American culture without making the connection is so telling about the religious state of the nation. I read in Reader’s Digest this morning of how the United States are not nearly so polarized as the media makes them out to be; that there is the great silent majority of moderates that really don’t fall into the extremist fringes. This may well be true, but I would argue that this is not so much the result of intentional reason as it is apathetic neglect of the issues that results in the false appearance of moderation.